It's rather unfair how because one missed a call my day came to an end. As a girl of European decent you are the full package, strick parents and all. You may find a Euro boy and fall in love but if he's from a place of war from years ago it just aint gonna work in tata's eyes. But the thing is when you fall in love you stop caring about what Tata says especially since he just likes to obsess and control. Well not everything can be controlled, there are times when you let go or simply forget. But that strick factor comes back into play, as a Euro gal there is no such thing as forgetting! no no thats an excuse, that's bullshit, la da da da. But here's the story, went to an audition, then to lunch and decided hey time to give mama a call tell her what's up. Oh snap mama's in a meeting of course it's 3:30pm. Well because she's special or something her phone doesnt tell her that she has one missed call and so she doesnt call me back. the time goes on we head out to a VW meet which is two hours long. Everyone's at home by this point, they still wonder when I'm coming home but no one calls to find out they just figure that when im out all i think about is calling them to tell them where i am 100% of the time. Well when you're having fun and chatting and la da da your first thought is not omgsh i better call home especially when you don't have your phone on you!!!

Well after all is swell with the euros, we decided to head d.t and cruz. So sure enough we are and i call up my sister see what she's up to, oh she's d.t too cool cool.... but she could have given a heads up hey you better phone home they're kinda wondering whats up. but no she doesnt do that instead were thinking maybe we'll meet up. So we decided kay cruz some more then try to find parking not so easy on a saturday night. So ok were just gonna head back go to his house but first gotta get me some coffee. Well i didn't get a coffee no no i got a call ... more like attacked over the phone and headed home. Way to ruin a perfect night, why not just call me back shit that would have saved a lot of time. A LOT!! so instead on a saturday night im sitting home alone after a tiny freak out fest which really has nothing to do with me haa but im a good person, a good chil and an easy target for bitching. so yah its late, im pissed off and nothing was accomplished but oh theres control. My parents are in control .. yep ... until i move out... which will be soon. There's no way any one could take this more than 18 years, no fucking way.

Beach Brain

We we're just sitting on the beach
when I said it
and I said it
I love you
but didn't mean it

Well I didn't mean it
But I love you
and I said it
there i went and did it
I'll admit it
I love you
but you weren't supposed to know

We we're sitting on the beach afterall
And yah you're a bit strange
a bit beach brain
I wasn't thinking
when I said it
and I said it
I love you

But now I'm stressing
I'm obsessing
But I'll admit it
that I did it
and I said it

oh more stressing
more obsessing
Oh ... How bout you just love me too

Until it's too Late

Until you've lost someone,
you take them for granted.
You don't really pay that close attention
You let moments slip away

Until you have only tears left
Until you've died inside
You'll continue to fight
Continue to pick and nag,
to be sarcastic
or even play

Until you understand that it's too late
so caught up in games
and one ups
learning only how to defeat your other half
instead of really loving them the best.

What happens when it's too late
Cry until you can't,
over what you could have
Cry over a loss or because you should have
Why not instead of the should of, the could have, the would have
Love every moment you're given
Learn to cope with what you've got
Learn to love before judging

When it's too late, there's no turning back
That coulda, woulda, shoulda means nothing now
because you didn't
Until you've lost, you wont know
But when you do lose, you'll cry
But for yourself because that's all you'll have left to do.

Total Destruction

Destruction is all that's left after all is gone when theres nothing left to feel. You've taken each and every tiny micro bit of emotion from me turned it into sadness into tears and shame. Its over until the next moon, the river dried up when I realised how much you haven't cared in the past. Secretive as usual, you walk around almost as if you don't exist until the moment you're scared that its not perfect in your little world. I'm the most unperfect thing to enter your world and I hope to stay that way until the grass turns brown and disappears until your world is over and gone. When you have nothing left to say. You'll know it was me.